Feeling insecure

I just told my superior that I tend to have high expectation on myself and have an insecure feeling for not doing the best or meeting the expectation. After the call ended, I felt insecure for talking about my insecurity. Even though I acknowledge that this feeling is due to my eagerness to really doing the best in my job, but WHY?!

In addition, my friend just have opinion in WhatsApp group about Indonesian people attitude toward Russian — Ukrainian conflict. He stated that most of Indonesian, who support the Russian because its leader has strong charisma, reflects that they have high insecurity and bullying mental.

Back to me as an individual in this situation and logically speaking, I have a thought that all of this insecurity feeling and high expectation for myself are not productive way of thinking. It is highly not recommended for me as a new joiner in a high growing start-up company in developing and exciting country like Indonesia.

So, I googled it. Apparently, the insecurity is highly related to self-esteem.
Next question, what this self-esteem does? It is found that it makes people afraid of making mistakes or letting other people down.

But, HOW?

It is due to genes and how/where you grew up. The way it works is your inner voice always telling you that you are not good enough or worth anything, even there is a prove to the contrary. The signs are social withdrawal, hostility, excessive preoccupation with personal problems that sequentially…